try me

my back
                          cracks more 
                                                           than my 
                                                                                          smile does

WARNING: mentions God. Don't yell at me.

can i start out blunt?

sometimes i hate God for giving me perfect health.

is that selfish?

well sorry, that's just me.

i'm the girl who feels guilty being so healthy while people i love suffer. if i could take their pain

 and give it to myself, i'd do it in a heartbeat. and you better belive i would.

i'm the girl who cries so hard her lungs start to contract..to the point where my words become quick

 gasps for air. as if my body believes it's dying from sadness and this will be it's final breath.

i'm the girl who is still waking up every morning, just not with you.

i'm the girl who claims she hates tomatoes, yet has never even tried one.

so maybe you should find someone who already likes tomatoes...

i'm the girl with poems inside of me, that paper just can't handle

9/17/2015

This playlist is for the sad, happy, hopeful, the lonely, the quiet ones, the thinkers, the daydreamers,

the young, the crazy, and the ones who will listen. Enjoy!

Dear Pillow, Sorry about the tears...

I love to sleep, but the nights are the worst.

As I try and fall asleep my thoughts can't help but drift to you.

And sometimes the pain is so bad I want to get up. Get up and run 

as far and as fast as I can, hoping to outrun the thought of you, 

to avoid the pain.

But the world doesn't work like that, it doesn't matter how far or 

fast I run, because you'll never leave my thoughts. So instead, 

I'll lay there and think of you, and embrace the pain. 

And as the tears hit my pillow I hope that unconsciousness will 

take me at last.

I may be tasteless

I'm a white crayon.

I'm ordinary.

I'm tasteless.

My Mother says that everyone has a beautiful side.

So I guess that makes me a circle.

I'm in a box with a red crayon, she started off white..but she didn't realize that

 an inappropriate touch could turn her surface red.

The blue crayon who sits next me is a downer and pathetically sad...But her 

emotions show that she is as deep as an ocean and has more depth than a 

shallow white could ever see.

Even the black crayon, with its instant association with darkness, sadness and

 nothingness has the potential to leave a significant mark on a page.

What if I want to be more than a white crayon?

I'm a white crayon.

I'm also ordinary.

And I may be tasteless, but so is water, and we all need that!

Let me be Clear

We are the children of entitlement.

People that worship brands because all they are is clothes.

People that once had an original thought...

but it long died of loneliness.

People that are certified with knives 

because of how many we put in each others back's.

People that beg a website for some respect and company.

People who went from monopolizing plastic on cardboard

to monopolizing each other.

Always feel free to ask, but never feel entitled to an answer.

We are just children of entitlement

who need to learn how to build their own future.

How he was...

He came into my life how people come into this world,
new, uncertain, filled with hope and an unknown future.
But he left the way that we all leave this place,
leaving trash and chaos behind.

His presence grew to be so familiar, I hadn't known what life would be like after he'd gone. The way he wore RVCA everyday, the smell of his cologne you'd only know when you were so close, how he would talk through the movie and apologize every time, and the gray hat that never left his head.

Even now I'll still catch the smell of his cologne, and I will long for his pointless commentary and that one night I took that hat, and he just looked at me and smiled. Never taking it back. And I knew that after that point, I wouldn't be the same. And I never was. because...

He came into my life how people come into this world,
new, uncertain, filled with hope and an unknown future.
But he left the way that we all leave this place,
leaving trash and chaos behind.